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<TD>Welcome to my newly redesigned site. As I pomissed we will become a site that is more than just random things slopped together. Welcome to our site and good luck! This site is currently being beta tested for the next week! <BR><BR>last updated 4/3/05</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><BR><BR> <BR>

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<DIV align=left><BR> Scripts for your website<BR><BR> Here are some scripts for your website!<BR><BR><BR>1. a random quote generator<BR>

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<TD><FONT color=#000080><META http-equiv=refresh content=120><BR></FONT><FONT color=#800000><FONT color=#000080><SCRIPT language=JavaScript></FONT></FONT>//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////|// Quote Generator by Ryan Smith<FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#008000><A href="mailto:ryan444123@hotmail.com">ryan444123@hotmail.com</A></FONT></FONT> //|// Feel free to use it, just leave these comments in it. Thanks *smile* //|//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////|/////////////////|// quote array //|/////////////////|quoteList = new Array();quoteList[0] = "The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization";quoteList[1] = "They\\\\\\\\'re only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!";quoteList[2] = "Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home and, when they grow up, they will never be able to edge their car onto the freeway";quoteList[3] = "My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right";quoteList[4] = "A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. -- I believe everything positively sucks.";quoteList[5] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: If the opposite of pro is con, what is the opposite of progress?";quoteList[6] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Today is the first day of the rest of your sentence.";quoteList[7] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Entropy isn\\\\\\\\'t what it used to be.";quoteList[8] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: We cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you!";quoteList[9] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: You\\\\\\\\'d walk funny too if you wore diapers.";quoteList[10] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Never show up for an interview in bare feet.";quoteList[11] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Let\\\\\\\\'s not spoil this moment with words.";quoteList[12] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: We live and learn, but not the wiser grow.";quoteList[13] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I tried to drown my sorrows but the little suckers learned to swim.";quoteList[14] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I don\\\\\\\\'t practice what I preach because I\\\\\\\\'m not the kind of person I\\\\\\\\'m preaching to.";quoteList[15] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Reality is for people who can\\\\\\\\'t handle drugs.";quoteList[16] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I\\\\\\\\'ve got a strange disease called plastic.";quoteList[17] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don\\\\\\\\'t.";quoteList[18] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I\\\\\\\\'d drive my grandmother\\\\\\\\'s vehicle, but it\\\\\\\\'s a broom.";quoteList[19] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Did Adam and Eve have navels?";quoteList[20] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I\\\\\\\\'m so macho my sperm smoke Marlboros.";quoteList[21] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: The only thing worse than dying young is dying young with money in the bank.";quoteList[22] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant, and wrong.";quoteList[23] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Looking for a few good men to treat like shit.";quoteList[24] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.";quoteList[25] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Your face or mine?";quoteList[26] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Don\\\\\\\\'t care if you\\\\\\\\'re rich or not, as long as you can live comfotably and have everything you want.";quoteList[27] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: In order to get a loan you must first prove you don\\\\\\\\'t need it.";quoteList[28] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Efficiency is intelligent laziness.";quoteList[29] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Looks like she\\\\\\\\'s having her monthly visit by \\\\\\\\'Mr. Cranky\\\\\\\\'.";quoteList[30] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: All undetectable errors will be treated as if no error occured.";quoteList[31] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: No time for moderation!";quoteList[32] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Relax, it\\\\\\\\'s only a movie.";quoteList[33] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: When I was young, all I wanted was to be ruler of the universe. Now that isn\\\\\\\\'t enough.";quoteList[34] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Sure alcohol kills brain cells, but only the weak ones the weak ones.";quoteList[35] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Do you give great head or all my friends lying to me?";quoteList[36] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Une boule qui roule tue les poules. (Landslides kill chickens.)";quoteList[37] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Masturbation is trying to make your body think that you\\\\\\\\'re popular.";quoteList[38] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Elvis is dead, but at least he isn\\\\\\\\'t gaining any more weight.";quoteList[39] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: When doctors and undertakers meet they always wink at each other.";quoteList[40] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.";quoteList[41] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I\\\\\\\\'d kill Flipper for a tuna sandwich.";quoteList[42] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I like cats; they taste just like chicken.";quoteList[43] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: There is no difference between theory and practice of theory, but there is often a great deal of difference between theory and practice in practice.";quoteList[44] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Desperately clinging to Utopian illusions.";quoteList[45] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Close enough for government work.";quoteList[46] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.";quoteList[47] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Eat to forget.";quoteList[48] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I\\\\\\\\'m sorry, but my karma ran over your dogma.";quoteList[49] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty.";quoteList[50] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Capital punishment is our society\\\\\\\\'s recognition of the sanctity of human life.";quoteList[51] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Anything worth having is worth cheating for.";quoteList[52] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Life is cheap, but the accessories will kill you.";quoteList[53] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I\\\\\\\\'m not shy, I\\\\\\\\'m just studying my prey.";quoteList[54] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Mr. Rogers snorts metamucil.";quoteList[55] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Onward through the fog.";quoteList[56] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: Pardon me, but you\\\\\\\\'re standing on my penis.";quoteList[57] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: I can\\\\\\\\'t be overdrawn, I still have some checks.";quoteList[58] = "Seen on a button or bumper sticker: We come from different planets...mine has deodorant and mouthwash.";quoteList[59] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I\\\\\\\\'m taking my brother totem pole carving.";quoteList[60] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but the man on television told me to stay tuned.";quoteList[61] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but it\\\\\\\\'s my parakeet\\\\\\\\'s bowling night.";quoteList[62] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I\\\\\\\\'m staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.";quoteList[63] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I have to floss my cat.";quoteList[64] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I\\\\\\\\'ve dedicated my life to linguini.";quoteList[65] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I need to spend more time with my blender.";quoteList[66] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but it wouldn\\\\\\\\'t be fair to other beautiful people.";quoteList[67] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but it\\\\\\\\'s my night to pet the dog.";quoteList[68] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I\\\\\\\\'m going downtown to try on some gloves.";quoteList[69] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.";quoteList[70] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I\\\\\\\\'m going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.";quoteList[71] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I have an appointment with a cuticle specialist.";quoteList[72] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.";quoteList[73] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I have some really hard words to look up.";quoteList[74] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I\\\\\\\\'ve got a Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga meeting.";quoteList[75] = "I\\\\\\\\'d love to go out with you, but I promised to help a friend fold roadmaps.";quoteList[76] = "If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.";quoteList[77] = "Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.";quoteList[78] = "Never use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.";quoteList[79] = "People who know little are usually great talkers, while people who know much say little.";quoteList[80] = "Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life.";quoteList[81] = "Father to little son: And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me? -- Son: I\\\\\\\\'ll diet";quoteList[82] = "If this quote didn\\\\\\\\'t exist, somebody would have invented it.";quoteList[83] = "Be free and open and breezy! Enjoy! Things won\\\\\\\\'t get any better so get used to it.";quoteList[84] = "It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what\\\\\\\\'s cool.";quoteList[85] = "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.";quoteList[86] = "Don\\\\\\\\'t worry over what other people are thinking about you. They\\\\\\\\'re too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.";quoteList[87] = "I don\\\\\\\\'t like spinach, and I\\\\\\\\'m glad I don\\\\\\\\'t, because if I liked it I\\\\\\\\'d eat it, and I just hate it.";quoteList[88] = "I haven\\\\\\\\'t lost my mind\\\\\\\\; I know exactly where I left it.";quoteList[89] = "I don\\\\\\\\'t blame Congress. If i had $600 billion at my disposal, I\\\\\\\\'d be irresponsible, too.";quoteList[90] = "Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.";quoteList[91] = "Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.";quoteList[92] = "Famous last words: Don\\\\\\\\'t unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.";quoteList[93] = "Famous last words: Let\\\\\\\\'s take this shortcut, he can\\\\\\\\'t see us from there.";quoteList[94] = "Famous last words: What happens if you touch these two wires tog-";quoteList[95] = "Famous last words: We won\\\\\\\\'t need reservations.";quoteList[96] = "Famous last words: It\\\\\\\\'s always sunny there this time of year.";quoteList[97] = "Famous last words: Don\\\\\\\\'t worry it\\\\\\\\'s not loaded.";quoteList[98] = "Famous last words: They\\\\\\\\'d never be stupid enough to make him a manager.";quoteList[99] = "Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?";quoteList[100] = "Rules: #1\\\\\\\\) I am always right. #2\\\\\\\\) When I am wrong, refer to rule #1.";quoteList[101] = "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people are so full of doubts.";quoteList[102] = "In 1750 Issac Newton became discouraged when he fell up a flight of stairs.";quoteList[103] = "The story so far: In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.";quoteList[104] = "Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is? -- A: One per person.";quoteList[105] = "It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.";quoteList[106] = "The easiest way to figure the cost of living is to take your income and add ten percent.";quoteList[107] = "Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.";quoteList[108] = "Life would be so much easier if we could look at the source code.";quoteList[109] = "Yes, but everytime I try to see things your way, I get a headache.";quoteList[110] = "Immortality - a fate worse than death.";quoteList[111] = "They told me I was gullible...and I believed them!";quoteList[112] = "Never trust anyone over thirty.";quoteList[113] = "Always try to do things in chronological order; it\\\\\\\\'s less confusing that way.";quoteList[114] = "Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can\\\\\\\\'t it get us out?";quoteList[115] = "Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I\\\\\\\\'m rich.";quoteList[116] = "The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.";quoteList[117] = "If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished.";quoteList[118] = "If you receive something that says \\\\\\\\'Send this to everyone you know,\\\\\\\\' pretend you don\\\\\\\\'t know me."quoteList[119] = "There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives."///////////////////|// randomization //|///////////////////|var now = new Date();var secs = now.getSeconds();var raw_random_number = Math.random(secs);var random_number = Math.round(raw_random_number * (quoteList.length));if (random_number == quoteList.length){random_number = 0} ///////////////|// set quote //|///////////////|var quote = quoteList[random_number];<FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#800000></SCRIPT></FONT></FONT><BR><FONT color=#000080><LINK href="css/pplace.css" type=text/css rel=stylesheet></FONT><FONT color=#000080><LINK href="http://www.pieceofpaper.net/favicon.ico" rel="SHORTCUT ICON"></FONT><BR><FONT color=#000080><CENTER></FONT><FONT color=#000080><FONT color=cyan></FONT><BR><FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#800000><SCRIPT language=JavaScript></FONT></FONT>document.write(quote);<FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#800000></SCRIPT></FONT></FONT><BR><FONT color=#000080></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#000080></CENTER></FONT><BR><FONT color=#000080><DIV></FONT><FONT color=#000080></DIV></FONT><BR><FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#800000><SCRIPT language=javascript></FONT></FONT>--><FONT color=#000080><FONT color=#800000></SCRIPT></FONT></FONT></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><BR> <BR><BR><BR> <BR></DIV></BODY></HTML>